


gay sex starter kit

by mihaly



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Anal Sex, Dildos, First Time, First Time Bottoming, Large Cock, M/M, Sex Toys, Size Kink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-10 00:38:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18649372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mihaly/pseuds/mihaly
Summary: Patrick may be emotionally and mentally ready to bottom for David, but he is in no way physically ready to take David's massive cock. David has an idea to get him there.





	gay sex starter kit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Coffee_Flavored_Kisses](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coffee_Flavored_Kisses/gifts).



> WELL HERE WE ARE
> 
> This is based on an ask I got from nbc-trialanderror (coffee_flavored_kisses on ao3) on tumblr: "ok no one asked but i honestly think David used a dildo with Patrick for a little while before they got up to the point where David fucked him himself. I just love thinking about him buying Patrick a dildo specifically for this purpose. Putting a lot of thought into getting the perfect one for him. it's nice."
> 
> I was originally just gonna answer the ask, but it got severely away from me and I had to write the whole thing because _someone_ needed to include hung!David. I won't apologize.
> 
> s/o to my wonderful beta Elizabeth
> 
> Enjoy!

It’s a typical Friday night, with the two of them out having a quiet dinner at Cafe Tropical. Patrick remembers their first date here like it was yesterday. Every detail about that night is permanently etched into his memory. It was his first date and first kiss with a man, two very notable occasions wrapped up into one perfect evening.

And now the man in question is across the table from him, chattering away about his latest dust-up with his sister.

“She’s been doing this thing lately that’s like, halfway between a snore and a nose whistle?” David says. “It’s the worst sound I’ve ever heard and I once dated someone who was in an experimental grunge-EDM band.”

He and David have been dating for two months and they’ve been the two greatest months of Patrick’s life. He’s never been so happy with the direction his life is going. David is it for him, he knows it.

And David, despite his challenges with compromise, has been kind enough to go slow at Patrick’s request. It’s all so new and different, and Patrick wants to take his time with David, getting to know one another romantically before jumping into bed with him.

But now it’s time.

Lately, all Patrick has been thinking about is having David’s cock inside him.

No matter what they’re doing, Patrick’s thoughts will inevitably meander to David Rose’s cock. The worst was when they were at Johnny’s 65th birthday brunch and all Patrick wanted was for David to bend him over the buffet table and take him.

They’ve had sex in which Patrick is penetrating David, and that was _excellent_. Patrick was able to see how expressive and gorgeous David is when he’s being fucked. He’s definitely interested in doing that again. But part of the excitement of finally being with a man, is that _Patrick_ can get penetrated. He _wants_ a big thick cock up his ass. He’s been waiting _30 years_ for this to happen, so _of course_ he’s obsessing over it.

As David is talking about his sister and her sleeping habits, Patrick is imagining David waking him up by shoving his cock inside him.

This is ridiculous. He has to say something.

“Um, David?” Patrick says, somewhat sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, but she’s affecting my sleep and she has to be stopped.”

“No, uh,” he says, pausing. “Can I change the topic off of your sister?”

“Ugh, yes, please,” David says. “What is it that you want to talk about?”

Patrick takes a deep breath and exhales.

“I, uh, I’m…” Why is this so hard to say? David _wants_ to have sex with him. Oh, that thought makes him smile. _David wants to have sex with him_. “I’m ready.”

David perks up.

“You’re ready?”

Patrick blushes and nods.

“I’m really, _really_ ready.”

David takes his hand from across the table.

“Okay,” he says softly, smirking. “We’ll get you ready.”

That… is not the response he was expecting.

“I’m, I said I’m ready,” Patrick repeats. “We can go back to my place and like-” He makes an inelegant gesture with his hands. “You know?”

David’s smile grows.

“Right, and we can definitely start tonight,” he says. “But I want you to enjoy it. I don’t want to hurt you, because I’m kind of a lot.”

Patrick is not sure what he means. He’s seen and touched David’s cock. He doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Sure, it’s big, but it’s not _that_ big. He’s comparable to some of the guys Patrick’s seen in porn and the guys on bottom seem to take it really easily. And not just easily, but they seem to love it.

“I think you’re underestimating me, David. I’ve…” He can feel his cheeks heating up again. He leans in and drops his voice. “...been using my fingers. I’m ready.” The first night Patrick had slipped a finger inside himself was strange, but every night following it got better and better until he was practically riding his three fingers, wishing they were David’s dick.

“Mm, you’re still gonna want to be prepared,” David says. “And you’re going to need more than just your own fingers, as hot as that is to think about. And I’m going to be thinking about that a lot.”

Well, Patrick is a bit put off now. He just told David he’s ready to have sex with him and David basically told him, no, he’s not. David could sense something, because he squeezes Patrick’s hand.

“It’s going to be so, _so_ worth it, trust me,” David comforts him.

And Patrick has to trust him. He’s not going to hurt David just to get his dick inside him. He wants this to be a beautiful, mutual agreement. He wants _them_ to be ready.

So he waits. And waits. The weekend goes by and while yes, they do have sex, Patrick is lowkey disappointed. As he fucks David and David’s large cock cums across his chest, he wants to switch positions. He wants to be the one bouncing in David’s lap, riding him into the mattress. David is attentive and louder than usual, touching Patrick more sensually. It’s appreciated, but it’s not enough.

Monday arrives and Patrick still feels disappointed. His heart sits deep in his stomach. He tries to be excited when he sees David in the morning, giving him a long kiss hello, but it’s not enough.

David, on the other hand, is as excited as ever. He keeps glancing over to Patrick and grinning knowingly. It’s incredibly frustrating.

David’s excitement spikes when the mail arrives. It’s the usual order: receipt paper, cleaning supplies, baskets, a few display jars. But there’s also an extra box explicitly addressed to David. It’s not particularly distinct, except that David usually sends his personal orders to the motel.

“This is for you,” Patrick says as he passes the mystery box to his boyfriend. David blocks it, pushing it back into Patrick.

“Nope. It’s for you.”

Patrick looks at him curiously.

“What did you for order me?”

“Open it.” David’s eyes dance with delight.

Cautiously, Patrick takes out a box cutter and slices open the packaging tape. He carefully unfolds the flaps and pushes aside the packing plastic.

His pulse starts to race.

Inside, there are four simple yet elegant blue dildos, ranging in size from smaller than average to something close to David’s size.

 _This_ is what David meant by getting him ready.

“It’s like a gay sex starter kit,” David says. With a shaking hand, Patrick lifts the largest one out of the box. He can just barely wrap his hand around it. “Oh, and that one is nearly as big as me. I measured.”

“This seems like a lot, David,” Patrick says skeptically. “Is this necessary?”

“Um, let me put it this way: yes.”

Patrick’s still unsure.

David puts his hands on Patrick’s shoulders, massaging them.

“Um, so I know you don’t believe me, but I need you to trust me. Especially since this is one of the few topics I _know_ I know more about than you.” Patrick purses his lips. “I really, really don’t want to hurt you.”

It’s a little over the top, but David’s had more gay sex than he has, so he’ll defer to the expert.

“Okay,” Patrick reluctantly agrees.

“Great,” David smiles. He kisses Patrick. “You won’t regret it.”

That night, they’re in Patrick’s bed, making out sans clothes. David is between his legs where he belongs with two fingers in Patrick’s ass. His enormous erection rests right beside Patrick’s, rutting minutely between their bellies as they kiss. It feels so good, and he feels better knowing that there is finally a clear path to what he wants.

“You want the first dildo?” David asks hotly against his lips.

“Yeah, yes,” Patrick responds eagerly. He wants to get the show on the road. David is going to fuck him with all four dildos and then finally – finally! – he’ll fuck Patrick in the best way. Who knew he’d have this experience on a Monday night?

David climbs off the bed to grab the supplies. When he returns, he’s only holding the lube and smallest dildo.

“I don’t want to take a break between them, David,” Patrick informs him. “You can bring the others up here.” David chuckles softly as he kneels between Patrick’s legs and drips lube on the dildo.

“Oh, we’re just doing this one tonight,” David says, smirking. “It’ll probably be another month until I fuck you.”

Patrick’s stomach drops. He thought tonight was the night.

“We can’t just go through them all tonight?”

David shakes his head.

“If you want to look like a cowboy when you walk, we can,” he says. “But I don’t think that’s a good look on you.”

Patrick sighs. It’s killing him that he’s getting cockblocked by the very cock he wants in his block.

David pushes his thigh toward his stomach and lines the slick dildo up with his hole. It’s right next to David’s cock, and the size difference is staggering. The dildo is less than half the size of David and it’s not _that_ small.

Maybe David is right.

“Are you ready?” David asks warmly.

“Yes,” Patrick says. He pulls his thighs closer to his chest, presenting himself more fully to David. “I am.”

David smiles and pushes the dildo in.

Oh, that’s much different than his fingers. The silicone passes the reach of his fingers and very quickly the base is against his ass. The whole dildo is sheathed in his body.

He clenches purposefully around it. It doesn’t hurt, but it’s different. There’s more resistance than his fingers, and he can certainly feel it deeper inside of him.

“How do you feel?” David asks. He gently pets Patrick’s thigh.

“I feel good,” Patrick exhales. “Doesn’t hurt. Wish it was you, but you know.” He shrugs.

David grins.

“Can I move it?”

Patrick nods, and David begins to thrust the dildo slowly. It feels really… odd, but he likes it. He especially likes watching David watch the silicone disappear inside of his body. David absently thrusts his own cock against Patrick’s thigh, mimicking the measured thrusts of the dildo, smearing precum onto his skin.

Patrick wraps his hand around his own erection. He knows it’s not enough stimulation to make him cum because he’s still getting used to the sensation.

“You can go faster, David,” he says softly. David finally looks up like he broke out of a trance.

He does as he’s told. That feels better. The dildo feels less foreign in his body now that it’s going faster. He grabs the wrist of David’s free hand. He’s not trying to direct him, but he wants more contact. Apparently, David read his mind, because he falls forward to kiss Patrick, pinning their cocks between their bellies. His wrist snaps the dildo in and out of his body in time with his own hips; and it’s like David’s fucking him himself.

It doesn’t take much more before the combination of the dildo, his hand, and David’s cock against him has Patrick crying out and cumming. Oh, it’s weird to clench down on something as he cums, yet he loves it. David kisses him through his orgasm before he sits up and takes his own cock in hand. Patrick lightly slaps his hand, and David shoots him a look.

“Let me,” Patrick says, his voice raspy and deep. David lets go, and Patrick replaces his hand. He jerks David off fast, his fingers barely wrapping around his cock. David puts his hands on Patrick’s knees as he tips his head back, moaning. God, he looks so sexy, letting Patrick take care of him like this. Patrick watches David’s abs tense before he cums, painting Patrick’s stomach.

David tilts his head back down to stare heatedly at Patrick. Wordlessly, he pulls the dildo out of Patrick’s ass and drops it to the bed. The loss is noticeable, even though it’s the smallest of the four. Patrick sets his feet on the mattress, and David runs his hands along his hairy thighs.

“How do you feel now?” he asks Patrick huskily.

“Great, good,” Patrick replies.

“Good.” David ducks down to kiss him. “I’m gonna clean you up.”

He leaves the bed to grab a washcloth. Patrick stretches himself out. His back aches from being folded for so long. And his ass does feel weird from being stretched, even minutely by that dildo.

David returns and cursorily cleans Patrick up. He tosses it onto the nightstand before snuggling into Patrick’s side. He peppers Patrick’s shoulder in kisses. Patrick smiles and kisses the top of David’s head.

“I can’t wait to have you inside me,” Patrick murmurs into his hair.

“Just three more dildos to go,” David whispers back.

Patrick sighs. Just three to go…

Patience is a virtue that Patrick knows he has. It’s somewhere inside him, but when it comes to David’s cock, it’s out the window.

They end up using the first dildo for a week. By the end of day seven, Patrick is ready for more. He’s almost bored by the size. Thankfully, David makes up for it with his mouth and hands and everything else, so it’s still great sex. Yet it’s still not enough.

The second dildo surprises him. It’s what the websites called a ‘classic dong’ in that it’s an average, normal size; it’s nearly identical to his own cock. Compared to the first one, it’s just a bit thicker and longer. This is what David feels when he fucks him, and Patrick is relieved that he now knows David isn’t lying when he says he enjoys sex with him.

Another week passes with second dildo before David introduces the next one. The third is even bigger. This one teaches Patrick to relax. It’s the same length as the last, but it’s thicker, and he can feel the stretch. David reminds him to breathe. Day seven finds Patrick on all fours, David behind him fucking him vigorously with the dildo. He could get used to this.

After 21 days of easy sex, the fourth dildo has him clawing at David. It’s _big_. David constantly reminds him to relax and breathe, kissing his forehead and stroking his belly to calm him. Thank _god_ for that third dildo warming him up before this. He understands now why David wanted to ease him up to his cock. This fourth dildo is just a bit smaller than David and even with three dildos proceeding this, Patrick feels like he’s being split apart.

The first time they use it, his ass twinges after being fucked open. It’s heady and dizzying to be so full of cock. His heart is attempting an escape out of his ribcage and he’s grateful when David pulls out because he can finally breathe properly.

The second time isn’t much better. Patrick struggles to relax enough for the toy and it hurts. They stop prematurely, going back down to the third dildo to finish Patrick off. He’s disappointed in himself. If he can’t take this one, will he ever be able to take David?

The nights he’s alone, he practices. Patrick swears he spends all of his time away from David with a dildo in his ass. He fucks himself with his toys, thinking of his boyfriend with his big cock. He’s determined to make this work. He takes filthy pictures that make him blush in the morning and texts them to David, who sends his own filthy pics in return.

One night he manages to get a finger in alongside the fourth dildo, and when he cums, he sees stars.

He collapses to the bed, completely exhausted. He blinks at the ceiling, then breaks out into giggles. God, he really just did that!

He texts David: _I’m so fucking ready for your cock._

**Good, because I’m so ready to fuck you.**

* * *

 

The day finally comes, and Patrick is excited and nervous. David is bigger than his largest dildo and that one was so much already. What if it hurts too much and he can’t do it? What if it doesn’t fit?

Admittedly, it’s difficult to think about all the potential negatives when David is kissing him so heatedly and his hands grab at Patrick’s skin like being this close is not enough. Their cocks slide against each other between them, and Patrick can’t stop thinking, _that is about to be inside me_.

“You want my cock?” David pants against Patrick’s lips, unable to stop kissing him for one second to ask a question.

“Yeah,” Patrick answers.

“You want my big fat dick inside you?”

Patrick whimpers.

“ _Yes_.”

David rolls them over so Patrick is on his back. He reaches over to the nightstand to pull out the four dildos, the lube, and a condom. Patrick cocks his head when he sees the brand.

“I’ve never heard of these,” he remarks, examining the small packet.

“They’re a small European brand,” David explains as he gets into position between Patrick’s knees. “It’s the only company that makes condoms large enough.”

Patrick gulps. He glances down at the behemoth dick bobbing above him as David arranges the dildos in ascending size order. David’s size hadn’t been an issue until upon using the fourth dildo, Patrick remembered that David is _even bigger_ than that.

Fuck, he wants that cock in him so bad.

David picks up the smallest dildo and uncaps the lube. Patrick grabs his hand, stopping him.

“Can we start with the second one? I’m good for it,” he says.

He swears he sees David’s cock twitch in excitement.

“Of course,” David says with a warm smile.

Soon, dildo #2 is inside of Patrick. He feels open and content with David driving the soft silicone in and out of his body as they kiss. Dildo #2 is easy. Patrick has been starting on it for days now, his patience wearing thin as he wants to immediately get to #4.

“Okay, next,” Patrick mumbles against David’s lips.

Without hesitation, David pulls the dildo out. He sits up and hastily prepares #3. He lines it up with Patrick’s hole.

“Ready?”

“Put it in.”

David pushes the dildo in; it meets little resistance. After using #4 all week, dildo #3 is a walk in the park. He loves the stretch. He loves watching David stare at it as it enters his body. He reaches down to loosely fist his own cock as he enjoys the show between his legs. Turnabout is fair play, because David slaps his hand away and grabs Patrick’s cock himself.

Patrick hums contently and sinks back into the mattress. He could get used to this.

His body is loose and relaxed by the time David pulls the dildo out. But then he watches David pick up the fourth dildo and he’s a bit heartbroken. He doesn’t want another dildo, as much as he wants to show-off how easily he can take it.

David must’ve seen his face because he stops before he uncaps the lube.

“Is everything okay?” he asks sweetly.

Patrick fights the urge to say yes _and_ no. His instinct is to tell David that yes, everything’s fine, please shove that enormous dildo in my ass and let’s get on with it. But he also wants to tell David no, it’s not okay, because he’s been mentally and emotionally ready for his cock for over a month now and he doesn’t want to wait another minute.

Judging by the expression David gives him, Patrick realizes he said all of that out loud.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” David says, his thumb gently stroking Patrick’s knee.

“You won’t,” Patrick assures him. “I’ve been masturbating with the largest dildo, and I’m so _so_ ready.” He sits up so he can meet David in a loving kiss. He whispers, “I want you inside me, David.”

David searches his face for any kind of uncertainty, but there isn’t any. Patrick wants this, wants _him._

“Please, David,” he begs softly.

“Lay back.”

Patrick’s heart leaps to his throat as David pushes him down with his fingertips.

God, this is exactly what he wished for. He’s waited a month longer than he anticipated and he’s _thirsty_ for David’s cock. This whole time, David has laid next to him, completely naked, his monster cock thrusting lightly against Patrick’s hip, teasing him for what was to come. (Well, _him_.)

David rolls on a condom and lines up his cock with Patrick’s hole. Just the feeling of the head pressed gently against his rim has Patrick’s heart racing. God, that thing is going to be inside him.

Their eyes meet. David’s are full of love and concern, whereas Patrick’s pretty sure his are screaming, **_FUCK ME NOW!_**

“Are you ready?” he asks softly, warmly.

“Yeah,” Patrick nods. He slides a hand down to rest atop David’s on his hip. He takes a deep breath.

David keeps his gaze as he starts to push in glacially slow. Patrick’s jaw drops, his eyes screw shut, and he trembles, from his body being forced open by David’s massive cock. He feels like he’s being split in two. It’s bigger than the largest dildo. He understands why David was so adamant about warming him up to it. It’s _so much_. He groans softly and readjusts his legs around David’s waist.

The angle shifts, causing David to slip in a little quicker. Patrick gasps and his eyes open to see his boyfriend studying him, cataloguing every sound, expression, and movement. The depth of love in David’s eyes is beautiful.

David enters him for what feels like forever. Every inch surprises him. God, how much cock could his body feasibly take? Could he fit it all inside him?

Then, David’s hips finally touch Patrick’s ass, his balls gently resting against his skin.

David’s enormous cock is fully seated inside him.

Patrick struggles to breathe. It’s so overwhelming; his size, the sex, their love. He’s stretched and filled so much that all he can think about is _David, David, David_. It’s all he _wants_ to think about.

David leans down and kisses Patrick tenderly, his lips soft and delicate, as if Patrick is going to shatter any second. Patrick sinks his fingers into David’s thick hair then runs his hands down his back to his ass. He briefly pulls, and he can feel David shift within him. God, they are _actually_ having sex. David is _actually_ inside him. This is _real_. It’s everything he wanted. The man he loves is fucking him. Fuck, he’s so fucking gay and he _loves_ it.

“How do you feel now?” David whispers against Patrick’s lips.

Patrick breaks out into a giddy grin.

“I feel so good, David,” he whispers back. “You’re finally inside me!”

“I am.” David kisses along Patrick’s jaw to his ear. He nips at the lobe tenderly.

Fingers shaking, Patrick reaches down between them to feel where they’re connected. He whimpers. He traces the seam between his hole and David’s thick cock. He tries to clench down and he _can’t_ , he’s stretched so wide.

“I’m gonna fuck you now, okay?”

Patrick nods vigorously, returning his hand to David’s back.

“Yeah, yes, please.”

Slowly, David draws back a little and pushes in. Then he does it again and again, pulling out a little further each time.

Soon, David is fucking him for real, moving in and out of him at a moderate clip, their hips smacking together, his balls bumping Patrick’s ass with every thrust. Patrick can’t believe he’s being fucked – really fucked! – by his boyfriend, a _man_. He meets David with every thrust, rolling his hips to get as much of him inside as possible. David helps him pull his knees closer, practically folding him in half. Patrick is being reshaped for his cock only with every thrust.

Their bellies pin Patrick’s own cock between them and the friction from the scratch of David’s gorgeous chest hair is _delicious_.

“You’re so good, baby,” David murmurs, nosing Patrick’s cheek. “Feel so good around my cock, can’t believe I’m inside you.”

“Fuck, _David_ …” Patrick breathes as he grips David’s hair and back. David tucks his face into Patrick’s neck, kissing and biting his skin. His hands move along Patrick’s sides, petting his hips, gripping his thighs, silently worshipping his body for giving him so much pleasure. Patrick has never felt so alive before in his life.

Patrick gasps sharply like he’s touched a livewire. David hit his prostate.

“Oh, _fuck!”_ he shouts.

“Yeah, you like that, baby?” David says, his breath hot against Patrick’s ear.

Patrick’s fingers dig into David’s skin and he grips his hair tighter as David hits his prostate over and over. His eyes are screwed shut and he keeps gasping for air, but David is relentless. He strikes Patrick’s prostate repeatedly with deadly accuracy.

It’s too much, it’s too much. Patrick can’t believe he could ever feel this way, so lost in the moment and movement of two bodies together. All he wants is this beautiful man to never stop making love to him. His entire world has been reduced to David. He wants David Rose and nothing else.

But it’s _too much._ His body is electrified, he shakes with need, on the precipice of orgasm.

“I’m gonna—I’m gonna…” he chokes out. He doesn’t want to cum; he doesn’t want this to end. He never, ever wants David to stop fucking him.

But David’s lips are against his ear and he whispers, “Cum for me, Patrick.”

It’s all he needs to send him hurdling over the edge. Patrick’s whole body tightens, his ass clenching down on the massive cock inside him, and he cums with a strangled gasp between their stomachs.

“Oh, oh god,” David says shakily.

Patrick is lightheaded as David continues to fuck him. David’s hands get rougher on Patrick’s body while he thrusts faster and faster, fucking Patrick with fervor. Finally, he slams his hips in all the way and cries out as he cums hard into the condom.

David slowly collapses, stretching out his long limbs and letting his weight rest on his partner.

Patrick lifts David’s head by his hair and meets his lips in a messy kiss. They’re both panting, trying to catch their breath. Patrick can feel David’s heart pounding against his chest. It matches his own.

It’s a while before their kisses slow. Patrick enjoys this part, having David filling him so much while he’s completely wrung out and relaxed from cumming. He tenderly brushes David’s sweaty brow, loving the closeness this has allowed them.

“I’m gonna pull out,” David mumbles against his lips. Patrick whines unhappily and he playfully tightens his legs around David’s waist, preventing him from doing so.

“Want you to stay,” Patrick whispers. David smiles and chuckles.

“I know, but this condom is really uncomfortable.”

Patrick sighs. He understands. He opens his legs and lets David pull out. The loss is substantial. He tries to clench properly, and he _can’t_ , he’s been so fucked open. His body is probably going to scream at him in the morning.

He wants to do it again.

After David has disposed of the condom, he looks back over at Patrick, who must look thoroughly debauched, and smiles.

“I’ll be right back,” he says as he pats Patrick on the thigh.

Patrick sinks back down into the mattress, waiting for David to return. He’s so glad they’re going to sleep in this bed because he’s pretty sure David would have had to carry him if they had to move.

Quickly, David returns with a damp washcloth to clean the cum off their stomachs. Patrick appreciates it, because he was definitely not thinking about that. He’s hardly thinking of anything other than the thick meat hanging between David’s legs.

David cuddles up next to Patrick, draping an arm across his chest, and kisses his shoulder.

“How do you feel now?” David asks.

“Well,” Patrick says. “I’m pretty sure you’ve ruined me for all other men, not that I was planning on finding anyone else.”

“I have that effect on people.”

Patrick rolls onto his side so he can properly face David.

“Thank you, David,” he says fondly.

“You weren’t the only one who got something out of that,” David says sheepishly.

“I know, but you took care of me. You kept me from hurting myself, and then proceeded to give me everything I’ve ever dreamed.”

David blushes even harder.

“ _You’re_ everything I’ve ever dreamed,” Patrick continues.

“Me and my enormous cock?”

“Nope. Just you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! You can follow me on tumblr @davidrosesfiance


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